|Double Chocolate Chip|
Frappuccino - YUM
At Starbucks this morning (I told you I spend a lot of time there...) a woman pointed to my head (wrapped in a scarf) and asked, "How are you DOING?"
I told her I was fine, I had finished chemo and was just waiting for the hair to grow back. She told me she had ovarian cancer 4 years ago and also lost her hair during chemo but she's fine now. I gave her a big hug. She was such a nice lady. We didn't talk long, my drinks were ready and I had my 10 year old daughter with me on the way to school...
I didn't mind at all that she was nosy/curious about it. I don't mind telling my story and, maybe, I secretly like the attention. I thought more people would be asking me about "my" cancer - but she's the first and it's been nearly 3 months of being hairless. 3 months since someone would be able to TELL that I have cancer (or HAD cancer).
I get a lot of sympathetic looks and big smiles and strangers saying HELLO and obviously looking as though they want to say more but don't. I don't think I'm scary to talk to, I don't think I'm giving off a "Don't talk to me" vibe - but I suspect that most people don't know WHAT to say. And that's okay.
I didn't think I would feel comfortable with so obviously looking like I HAVE cancer. But, I really haven't minded it too much and I would venture to say that it's made people be a little kinder to me. I don't think a clerk or anyone has been rude to me since. People seem to be a lot friendlier and maybe when they see me, they are reminded that maybe their bad mood isn't really all that important.
Or maybe I just spread joy everywhere I go - that's possible too.