Monday, February 6, 2012


Do you know how hard it is to find a swimsuit when you are boobless?!

It's hard.  Really hard.  If you think buying a swimsuit with a normal body is hard, try finding one when you have no breasts. And, in the place of breasts, you instead have scars and Shar Pei skin.  It's not a good look in the first place and I really don't need to be emphasizing it with LESS clothing.

I actually tried on the swimsuits I do have from before the mastectomy.  To say that I look ridiculous would be a huge understatement.  I used to really like both of my swimsuits.  They were cute and stylish (well, for an old lady like me) and I thought they flattered what little I have that is "flatter-able."  But now, without breasts, it's just bizarre.

I'm not a small girl and, lucky for me, swimsuits come with built-in bras.  Before my mastectomy, before I had cancer - back when I had boobs - this was a good thing!  You need that built in contraption to keep the boob-age from going anywhere - or from looking like you need to belt them in.

But, now that I don't have breasts, I have two (well, let's just say it) HUGE empty crevasses.  Not only is it not a good look but it kind of makes me a little sad actually.  Looking down and having nothing where there used to be "something" is disheartening to say the least.  I guess I could still wear it and then I would, at least, have a place to put my googles and maybe a drink and snack.

One of my choices - I'd look like
a palm tree!
But, because I love to swim, I know that I have to find a more permanent solution.  I took to the internet to find a "mastectomy swimsuit."  Sure, there are quite a few choices!  Some are actually cute-ish.  Some are ridiculous.  Most are high necked which is a good thing.

However, the catch is that most of them come with the pockets to use so that you can put a breast form in them.  A breast form is a prosthesis type of contraption that women can wear in bras or swimsuits to make them look like they still have breasts.  Wearing a breast prosthesis is a completely individual choice.  A lot of women do, a lot of women don't.

I don't.  Not having breasts doesn't bother me too much most of the time.  Though, it's winter now and I'm able to hide a lot with scarves and sweaters.  I think it'll be harder once it's summer.  But, I just don't think breast forms are for me.  Maybe not having breasts is my badge of honor right now.

A breast form for swimming.
Sure, it looks innocent...
However, all of the mastectomy swimsuits I've seen so far (that I would actually consider wearing) have the pockets so you can put some fake boobs in them.  This greatly concerns me.  I don't feel very confident that these breast forms will STAY in the place where you put them!  This is all I need - to be happily swimming along when one of those puppies pops out!  Do they float or sink?  I don't really want to find out!  It'd be just my luck to lose one of them and then have it get sucked down the pool drain.  Then I'd only have one!

I'm stuck in swimsuit shopping hell right now.

Boob Count: 134

1 comment:

  1. I think your real problem here is that the top half and the bottom half are kind of drastically different sizes. Have you looked at separates?

    Don't be afraid to stray from actual swimsuits, too. I wear a swimsuit top that I like, but the bottom was a ridiculous fit on me, so I bought what I think is actually a tennis skirt, but it's short and made of lycra/spandex or something, and I bought it at Target so I could actually TRY IT ON. Maybe you could find something like that, and some other sort of exercise clothing (quick-dry) for on top?

    I personally think it's awesome that you're embracing your body for what it is right now, and it irritates the heck out of me that clothing manufacturers can't or won't recognize that and provide you with at least an option or two!