It's hard. Really hard. If you think buying a swimsuit with a normal body is hard, try finding one when you have no breasts. And, in the place of breasts, you instead have scars and Shar Pei skin. It's not a good look in the first place and I really don't need to be emphasizing it with LESS clothing.
I actually tried on the swimsuits I do have from before the mastectomy. To say that I look ridiculous would be a huge understatement. I used to really like both of my swimsuits. They were cute and stylish (well, for an old lady like me) and I thought they flattered what little I have that is "flatter-able." But now, without breasts, it's just bizarre.
I'm not a small girl and, lucky for me, swimsuits come with built-in bras. Before my mastectomy, before I had cancer - back when I had boobs - this was a good thing! You need that built in contraption to keep the boob-age from going anywhere - or from looking like you need to belt them in.
But, now that I don't have breasts, I have two (well, let's just say it) HUGE empty crevasses. Not only is it not a good look but it kind of makes me a little sad actually. Looking down and having nothing where there used to be "something" is disheartening to say the least. I guess I could still wear it and then I would, at least, have a place to put my googles and maybe a drink and snack.
|One of my choices - I'd look like|
a palm tree!
However, the catch is that most of them come with the pockets to use so that you can put a breast form in them. A breast form is a prosthesis type of contraption that women can wear in bras or swimsuits to make them look like they still have breasts. Wearing a breast prosthesis is a completely individual choice. A lot of women do, a lot of women don't.
I don't. Not having breasts doesn't bother me too much most of the time. Though, it's winter now and I'm able to hide a lot with scarves and sweaters. I think it'll be harder once it's summer. But, I just don't think breast forms are for me. Maybe not having breasts is my badge of honor right now.
|A breast form for swimming. |
Sure, it looks innocent...
I'm stuck in swimsuit shopping hell right now.
Boob Count: 134