Choose One

I really think that if you have cancer and you have to have chemo, you should get to choose your side effects.  This only seems fair to me.

I say this because I was fully expecting that the chemo would throw me into menopause.  That was the promise. I was prepared for the hot flashes and mood swings - I was ready.  Unfortunately, last week I found out that I am NOT in menopause.  And, in fact, I'm in the exact OPPOSITE of menopause.  I'm in hell.  Without going into too many TMI details, let's just say that I'm experiencing something 10X worse than ever before.

I was so concerned about the "output" coming from my body that I considered going to the emergency room a couple of times.  Finally, I consulted the internet and found out that, especially with the type of breast cancer I have, sometimes things go a little haywire BEFORE your body goes into menopause.  No one warned me about THIS!  THIS is torture!

Which is why I think you should get to choose your side effects.  I mean, I already have cancer - I think it's only fair!  It'd be nice to have no side effects at all, but I realize that's not possible - cancer is supposed to suck.

I've pondered which ones I might choose.  Let's see,  I'll take the overwhelming fatigue, the sleeping 12 hours a day, the menopause (PLEASE!), the hair falling out....and....let's see....

"Would you like constipation or diarrhea?" the doctor would ask.

"Hmm, I'll take constipation to start.  Can I switch later?" I'd say.

"Sure!" he'd reply, "Just let me know..."

But, no.  I get no choices.  The chemo just has its' way with me and does whatever it wants.  I find that very rude.

Bring on the menopause dammit!