Essentially, I chickened out. And that's okay, because that's what I needed to do in that moment in time.
|Hair Thinning, Me Looking|
I knew it was time and I knew we had to do it. It was one of the hardest and most traumatic things I've ever had to do. No amount of mental preparation made me fully prepared. Not really.
|The Razor! Eek!|
And this is when my husband had his own mini-nervous breakdown and said he wasn't going to do it. He didn't want to be the bad guy! "You two are being unreasonable!" he shouted! And stomped out of the room. I was quick to label him as a jerk! He emerged about 30 seconds later apologetic as my daughter and I continued to sob. I don't think he was prepared to handle our outburst of emotion. I said, "Just DO it!" and the razor powered up and my hair began to fall.
I cried for the first 15 minutes or so, softly, as I watched my hair fall to the floor. There really wasn't that much left of it, considering the amount of hair I usually have. It was the amount of a good haircut. This is when anarchy ensued and the puppy took off with some of the hair and my daughter grabbed some hair to keep in a baggie.
|The Buzz Cut.|
I was really hoping for a Mr. Clean look but, alas, it did not happen that way. I have a five-o-clock shadow thing going on! My hair is so dark and so thick, we could never get it all the way "gone." Not that it matters, I supposed. But, my hopes of making money on the side as a Mr. Clean look-a-like are now dashed.
The actual shaving was hard, emotionally and physically. My head was so sore in places that it hurt - A LOT! But, once it was DONE, my head felt so much better. Not so sore anymore, not itching. Relief! I even looked in the mirror right away which is something I didn't think I could do. And...it was okay. Not great. But okay.
I had to shower immediately after because I had HAIR everywhere! In fact, I was still finding hair all over the house the next day.
I'm glad it's done, I guess. It was a huge milestone, but very traumatic and one of the worst things I've ever had to do. I know it'll grow back...in a few months. And, hopefully, cancer will be kinder to me now. Because I don't have much more to give.
|The barber got a little too intimate after the shaving. Good|
thing I know him!