Monday, June 6, 2011

Good Things About NOT Having Breasts

I have compiled a list of ADVANTAGES to not having breasts:

1. NO MORE BRAS!
2. A career in gymnastics is now much more do-able.
3. Can now jog without fear of being slammed in the face with a boob.
4. Back fat much easier to hide without those pesky bras!
5. Boob sweat no longer an issue.
6. Less stains on shirt since spilled food is now more likely to fall to ground instead of being stopped on the way.
7. No bra straps to cut off circulation to shoulders and arms.
8. May be able to buy a smaller size in shirts - especially button-ups.
9. Less money spent on soap in the long run since less area to wash.
10. No pesky telltale nipplage when cold.
11. Seatbelts fit better
12. No finding food in the cleavage (popcorn seems to be the most notorious for getting lost in there FYI).
13. Better able to see feet.
14. Can now take advantage of shorter lines for Men's bathrooms (this is especially true if chemo makes your hair fall out - a bald flat-chested person is totally not going to be questioned about this!)
15. Can finally run for Presidency and have a chance of actually WINNING!


Boob Count = 40

3 comments:

  1. The best thing... No more mammograms!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ohhhh! Good one! Thanks! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Less wind resistance while riding a bike?

    ReplyDelete