Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The Hot Wife

I told my husband that when this was all over with, he was going to have a really hot wife.  I don't know if the look on his face was excitement or fear.

See, not only will I have new boobs, but I'll also have straight teeth.  Yes, I have braces...on my teeth, not my legs.  Yes, I really am a 41 year old woman with braces.  Why are you laughing?  See, I didn't get them as a teenager though my parents really hoped I would.  But, my older brother ruined it all for me because he had braces and he was such a big baby about them that there was no way I was subjecting myself to that type of torture!  (He now says that he was faking it for attention - typical!)  Then as an adult, I grew to hate my teeth - ugh, I became more and more self-conscious about them and, finally, I got up the courage in September of 2010 to get braces. I now look like a total dork and I have a severe drooling problem but by the time December 2012 rolls around, I'll have straight teeth! (I really hope the world doesn't end that month as predicted - otherwise I'm going to be TICKED!)

Also, I've heard stories about women who have chemo, lose their hair and then their hair grows in totally different.  I kind of like my hair, but I figure this might be my chance to finally be blonde!  Or a red head!  (Though, let's face it, with my luck, it'll all grow back in totally grey.)

Anyway, so let's add this up - straight teeth + new hair + new boobs = hot wife.

It's a good thing my husband already snatched me up because I'm going to be a hot commodity.  Too bad he has to live through the interim when I have no boobs, no hair and braces - not such a hot look. On second thought, maybe it's a good thing I made sure HE is committed to ME!  Poor guy!

Boob Count = 45


  1. You are a great writer and funny girl!

  2. forgot the weightloss coming....chemo will probably make u sick, thus shedding some poundage! WATCH OUT WA.....Hottie Laura is coming to town!