I heard that Billy Joel song on the radio the other day, "Only the Good Die Young." I really like that song, always have. This time, however, it really got me to thinking. No one wants to be in danger of dying young and, if the song is right, then it is reasonable that a person shouldn't be "good."
This scared me. Perhaps all this time I've spent being "good" and trying to be a good person was a bad idea. At this point, I'll do anything to make sure I live a long life so I've made a list of some activities I'm going to start to make sure that I stick around by not being good:
1. Talk loudly in movies.
2. Kick puppies.
3. Make scary faces at young children to make them cry (already do this inadvertently).
4. Practice more Road Rage.
5. Learn to flip people off.
6. Loudly talk on cell phone in public.
7. Stop using deodorant.
8. Wear big hats to movies and sit in front of people.
9. Talk with mouth full.
10. Drink directly out of the milk carton.
11. Strt speling things wrng jus ta anoy pepple.
12. Exceed the speed limit (more than I already do).
13. Spend time at the library putting the books back in all the wrong places.
14. Never recycle again!
15. Trip old ladies.
It's not a very comprehensive list, but it's a start. Maybe adopting these activities will get me to at least 50?